Oh What a Night (When things go wrong at 2 am)
Disclaimers:
1. There are no pictures with this post because when things are going wrong at 2 am I don't take time to go get my camera.
2. I know every parent has been there but hopefully since you (the reader) are not the one living it you will find some humor in the whole situation.
3. Since this whole episode happened between 2 am and 4 am parts of the story may not be exactly correct. This is because we were in dream states for some of the action. My memory is not the best when I am in dream states.
4. There are no quotes around what is said because who knows if that is exactly what was said, but the words used convey, basically, what happened.
As I have stated earlier we are in the process of sleep training Little Man. Things have been going much better than they were before we started. In the book we are using as a guide, the author recommends that parents take turns manning each night. So I take one night then My Main Man takes the next night. This is so one parent gets to rest and be refreshed for the next night. Also, if there is a different parent every night there is less consistency for the little one. So My Main Man and I have been switching on and off for the last several nights. Last night was his night and boy did I get lucky.
Sleep training had been going well so My Main Man and I stayed up till 11 pm just watching TV uninterrupted, like we did pre-Little Man. We should have known better!
2 a.m.
Little man starts fussing. It is not my night so I roll over and go back to sleep. My Main Man gets up and gets Little Man.
I hear, Oh buddy you are soaked.
My heart drops. This may mean I will have to get up and change sheets if we have had a leaky diaper.
My Main Man says, His sheets are wet but he, himself is not wet.
I say, Do you think he leaked or just was sweaty. (My fingers, legs, arms, eyes, and soul were crossed in hopes that Main Man would say just sweaty and I could go back to sleep).
There is a pause then he replies, Oh yeah, probably just sweaty.
So Main Man proceeds to do the Baby Whisperer method. Little Man is making it clear that he is not having it. Screeching, whining, crying, sobbing. This goes on for a while.
Main Man says, Do you think he is hungry?
He should not be I fed him before we went to bed.
My Main Man takes little man out of the room. I think to give me time to sleep. Then I hear, Oh buddy you really are soaked. Soaked. Hope? (Groans coming from inside. I know what this means.)
I know, I know. I heard soaked. I crawl out from under our wonderfully warm covers. Stumble across the room. Turn on the light and sure enough the sheet is soaked, the mattress pad is soaked. There is wetness on the mattress I don't notice. I change the sheet. This new sheet proceeds to get wet from the left over moisture. So I change the sheet again.
In the mean time the crying has stopped. Main Man and Little Man appear. Little Man and Main Man both look exhausted. Main Man lays Little Man down. We all go back to our bed. (It is now about 2:45)
Life is peaceful. I fall asleep.
Dreams of tropical vacations, laying on the beach enjoying some sweet and tangy lemonade invade my world. Then I get hit. "Geez," I think, "that was mean. Who hits someone on a beach." Well, I keep enjoying my beach get away and I get hit again. NOW I realize Main Man is ruining my dreams. So I say something to the effect of, "Dude, leave me alone. I am just sleeping over here." My Main Man replies, No you are snoring like crazy, too. (When Main Man read this post he said, "You were going to town." Poor guy.)
3:10 am
Crying starts from Little Man.
I state for Main Man's benefit, Man you got a crappy night.
I hope my next thought stayed in my head but there is no telling, "Sucks to be him. Sucker."
Main Man is really not happy at this point (I can't imagine why! I mean, he has such a supportive wife.)
Then the dreaded words hit my ears, "Oh man. Oh God. Oh God. OH MAN!!! Now he has had a blow out. Are you fricking kidding me." My Main Man storms out of the room. At which point I hear the johnny jump up being taken down hastily in frustration from the door that Main Man has to walk through.
At this point I am both mad and feeling pity for my husband. Poor guy gets such a crappy night but he could at least not be mad.
So I get up and tell him. Hey, I'll get it. You go to bed.
To which he replies. I got it I got it.
So I storm to the crib to change the sheet, again.
I grab the last sheet left. Then I hear, "Tag Team Please." from the other room. I go in, to help Main Man (for the sake of those reading I will refrain from describing the mess that met my eyes.) No longer is Main Man mad and Little Man is laying on the changing table grinning from ear to ear. He is so happy that both Mom and Dad are here. Little Man feels worlds better.
We get everything sorted out. I go take all the sheets to the laundry. At this point our cat realizes we are all up without him. He must be missing out on the party. So he is now under foot as Main Man tries to rock Little Man back to sleep. Hugo (the cat) thinks we got up and forgot to feed him. So he is circling Main Man meowing, which causes Little Man to arch his back to try to see Hugo.
Main Man exclaims, Cat if you don't leave I am going to kick you. (AT THIS POINT I SHOULD STATE THAT ON A NORMAL BASIS MAIN MAN AND HUGO ARE GREAT FRIENDS. THIS IS NOT NORMAL FOR MAIN MAN.)
I get back up. Take the cat downstairs. Feed him. Come back upstairs as Little Man falls asleep.
Main Man and I climb exhausted back into bed. It is now 4 am. I then exclaim, "I am so blogging about this tomorrow." To which Main Man says, "I don't care what you blog about right now. Just shh."
Little Man thankfully let us sleep in till 8:30 am.
I hope you enjoyed our night more than we did.
P.S. My bed is still made and upstairs is still clean.
1. There are no pictures with this post because when things are going wrong at 2 am I don't take time to go get my camera.
2. I know every parent has been there but hopefully since you (the reader) are not the one living it you will find some humor in the whole situation.
3. Since this whole episode happened between 2 am and 4 am parts of the story may not be exactly correct. This is because we were in dream states for some of the action. My memory is not the best when I am in dream states.
4. There are no quotes around what is said because who knows if that is exactly what was said, but the words used convey, basically, what happened.
As I have stated earlier we are in the process of sleep training Little Man. Things have been going much better than they were before we started. In the book we are using as a guide, the author recommends that parents take turns manning each night. So I take one night then My Main Man takes the next night. This is so one parent gets to rest and be refreshed for the next night. Also, if there is a different parent every night there is less consistency for the little one. So My Main Man and I have been switching on and off for the last several nights. Last night was his night and boy did I get lucky.
Sleep training had been going well so My Main Man and I stayed up till 11 pm just watching TV uninterrupted, like we did pre-Little Man. We should have known better!
2 a.m.
Little man starts fussing. It is not my night so I roll over and go back to sleep. My Main Man gets up and gets Little Man.
I hear, Oh buddy you are soaked.
My heart drops. This may mean I will have to get up and change sheets if we have had a leaky diaper.
My Main Man says, His sheets are wet but he, himself is not wet.
I say, Do you think he leaked or just was sweaty. (My fingers, legs, arms, eyes, and soul were crossed in hopes that Main Man would say just sweaty and I could go back to sleep).
There is a pause then he replies, Oh yeah, probably just sweaty.
So Main Man proceeds to do the Baby Whisperer method. Little Man is making it clear that he is not having it. Screeching, whining, crying, sobbing. This goes on for a while.
Main Man says, Do you think he is hungry?
He should not be I fed him before we went to bed.
My Main Man takes little man out of the room. I think to give me time to sleep. Then I hear, Oh buddy you really are soaked. Soaked. Hope? (Groans coming from inside. I know what this means.)
I know, I know. I heard soaked. I crawl out from under our wonderfully warm covers. Stumble across the room. Turn on the light and sure enough the sheet is soaked, the mattress pad is soaked. There is wetness on the mattress I don't notice. I change the sheet. This new sheet proceeds to get wet from the left over moisture. So I change the sheet again.
In the mean time the crying has stopped. Main Man and Little Man appear. Little Man and Main Man both look exhausted. Main Man lays Little Man down. We all go back to our bed. (It is now about 2:45)
Life is peaceful. I fall asleep.
Dreams of tropical vacations, laying on the beach enjoying some sweet and tangy lemonade invade my world. Then I get hit. "Geez," I think, "that was mean. Who hits someone on a beach." Well, I keep enjoying my beach get away and I get hit again. NOW I realize Main Man is ruining my dreams. So I say something to the effect of, "Dude, leave me alone. I am just sleeping over here." My Main Man replies, No you are snoring like crazy, too. (When Main Man read this post he said, "You were going to town." Poor guy.)
3:10 am
Crying starts from Little Man.
I state for Main Man's benefit, Man you got a crappy night.
I hope my next thought stayed in my head but there is no telling, "Sucks to be him. Sucker."
Main Man is really not happy at this point (I can't imagine why! I mean, he has such a supportive wife.)
Then the dreaded words hit my ears, "Oh man. Oh God. Oh God. OH MAN!!! Now he has had a blow out. Are you fricking kidding me." My Main Man storms out of the room. At which point I hear the johnny jump up being taken down hastily in frustration from the door that Main Man has to walk through.
At this point I am both mad and feeling pity for my husband. Poor guy gets such a crappy night but he could at least not be mad.
So I get up and tell him. Hey, I'll get it. You go to bed.
To which he replies. I got it I got it.
So I storm to the crib to change the sheet, again.
I grab the last sheet left. Then I hear, "Tag Team Please." from the other room. I go in, to help Main Man (for the sake of those reading I will refrain from describing the mess that met my eyes.) No longer is Main Man mad and Little Man is laying on the changing table grinning from ear to ear. He is so happy that both Mom and Dad are here. Little Man feels worlds better.
We get everything sorted out. I go take all the sheets to the laundry. At this point our cat realizes we are all up without him. He must be missing out on the party. So he is now under foot as Main Man tries to rock Little Man back to sleep. Hugo (the cat) thinks we got up and forgot to feed him. So he is circling Main Man meowing, which causes Little Man to arch his back to try to see Hugo.
Main Man exclaims, Cat if you don't leave I am going to kick you. (AT THIS POINT I SHOULD STATE THAT ON A NORMAL BASIS MAIN MAN AND HUGO ARE GREAT FRIENDS. THIS IS NOT NORMAL FOR MAIN MAN.)
I get back up. Take the cat downstairs. Feed him. Come back upstairs as Little Man falls asleep.
Main Man and I climb exhausted back into bed. It is now 4 am. I then exclaim, "I am so blogging about this tomorrow." To which Main Man says, "I don't care what you blog about right now. Just shh."
Little Man thankfully let us sleep in till 8:30 am.
I hope you enjoyed our night more than we did.
P.S. My bed is still made and upstairs is still clean.
So sorry, Hope! Yep, I've been there too. It's humorous much later. :o)
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