So Blessed by Toddler Tantrums
Dear Kiddos,
I have always known child abuse exists. I taught for several years and had to make some tough phone calls reporting parents that suck. However, until recently I never realized how terribly awful it is. Recently I had someone share details about a child who was abused. What I heard will haunt me for weeks. I hope it haunts me for the rest of my life. It was awful. Beyond anything I could imagine. As I drove home with you guys in the car I cried. I started to look at my life as a Stay at home mom. I started to evaluate all the things about my day that drain my energy. I realized I am so so so blessed. In so many ways.
1. I am blessed by the temper tantrums that get thrown. When you arch your back and drop to the floor in desperation letting out howls of frustration, I am blessed. For this means you feel safe enough to let your emotions be heard when you don't get your way. You don't worry that you are going to get beat because you express yourself, you know you are safe. So safe in fact that you know Daddy and I will hear your pain and correct your actions in a loving way.
2. I am blessed that I have not slept through the night in 6.5 months. When Sweet Girl's cries carry over the monitor interrupting my much needed sleep, I am blessed. For this means you know your needs will be taken care of by Daddy or I. You know that even in the middle of night when you need us 3 times in two hours, we will be there. You know that your cries will not fall on deaf ears. (If you get kids that sleep through the night at an early age, it is not because you are a bad parent. It is because your children are more gifted in the sleep department than either one of you.)
3. I am blessed that I have hair that is missing on my head. When Sweet Girl gets so excited to see me she can't help but grab my hair and rip it out of my hair in excitement, I am blessed. For this means you know your are loved. You know that we light up when we see you. You know that you are being loved on. You know that you need to get closer to me to love me right. You don't worry about what mood I will be in when I pick you up. You know that I am your rock star, and you are my groupies. (This is also why your daddy is blessed to have crooked glasses.)
4. I am blessed that I have bruises on my shins. When Little Man is working on swinging the bat and can't wait to show me just how powerful he is and has no concept that he is standing too close to Momma when he swings, I am blessed. For this means you know that we will cheer on your accomplishments and attempts at greatness even when we hurt. You know we want you to grow and develop into healthy active kids. You know we are proud of you. You don't worry that if touch us, we will turn and invoke incredible harm on you.
5. I am blessed that I have not had a quite car ride in years. When Sweet Girl is screaming her head off and won't stop till I get her out of the car, I am blessed. For this means that in our arms she feels safe. She would rather be with mom or dad than away. She knows that close to us is where the love happens. Or when Little Man won't stop narrating the car ride, "Momma, moon! Momma, choo choo tracks! Momma, no song! Momma, No sing! Momma, white car! " and on and on and on, I am blessed. For it means that Little Man is learning. Little Man is developing communication and observations skills. Little Man is watching in amazement the world that goes by. Neither of you are concerned that by expressing yourself you may be putting yourself in harms way.
6. I am blessed that I have friends on facebook to compare my children's accomplishments to. When I read on facebook that one of my friend's kids is mastering a skill that my children have not master yet, I am blessed. For it means that on days that can seem so long and lonely, I have a connection to the outside world. It means that I have friends that encourage me to want what is best for my kids. It means that I have resources to go to and ask, "How did you get your kid to learn that?" I am not alone. I don't have to take my loneliness out on my children. I don't have to raise my kids without any help or encouragement. I am part of a world wide support system.
I could go on and on about how blessed your daddy and I are. Each of you are safe, happy, healthy and developing just the way you should. I never realized how much I took it for granted until one of my friends who is a social worker said, "It is so nice to be around a baby that is cared for. She actually will look me in the eyes. I forgot what that is like." I hope that statement haunts me forever too.
I also hope that we will be a family who will love on kids who are not as safe and cared for as us. I hope that your daddy and I teach you to have big hearts that will be haunted by injustice in the world. Your daddy and I love you so much.
Love,
Your Momma
P.S. I did not stick Holy Butt Bongos in this post because it would have ruined the tone of this post.
I have always known child abuse exists. I taught for several years and had to make some tough phone calls reporting parents that suck. However, until recently I never realized how terribly awful it is. Recently I had someone share details about a child who was abused. What I heard will haunt me for weeks. I hope it haunts me for the rest of my life. It was awful. Beyond anything I could imagine. As I drove home with you guys in the car I cried. I started to look at my life as a Stay at home mom. I started to evaluate all the things about my day that drain my energy. I realized I am so so so blessed. In so many ways.
1. I am blessed by the temper tantrums that get thrown. When you arch your back and drop to the floor in desperation letting out howls of frustration, I am blessed. For this means you feel safe enough to let your emotions be heard when you don't get your way. You don't worry that you are going to get beat because you express yourself, you know you are safe. So safe in fact that you know Daddy and I will hear your pain and correct your actions in a loving way.
2. I am blessed that I have not slept through the night in 6.5 months. When Sweet Girl's cries carry over the monitor interrupting my much needed sleep, I am blessed. For this means you know your needs will be taken care of by Daddy or I. You know that even in the middle of night when you need us 3 times in two hours, we will be there. You know that your cries will not fall on deaf ears. (If you get kids that sleep through the night at an early age, it is not because you are a bad parent. It is because your children are more gifted in the sleep department than either one of you.)
3. I am blessed that I have hair that is missing on my head. When Sweet Girl gets so excited to see me she can't help but grab my hair and rip it out of my hair in excitement, I am blessed. For this means you know your are loved. You know that we light up when we see you. You know that you are being loved on. You know that you need to get closer to me to love me right. You don't worry about what mood I will be in when I pick you up. You know that I am your rock star, and you are my groupies. (This is also why your daddy is blessed to have crooked glasses.)
4. I am blessed that I have bruises on my shins. When Little Man is working on swinging the bat and can't wait to show me just how powerful he is and has no concept that he is standing too close to Momma when he swings, I am blessed. For this means you know that we will cheer on your accomplishments and attempts at greatness even when we hurt. You know we want you to grow and develop into healthy active kids. You know we are proud of you. You don't worry that if touch us, we will turn and invoke incredible harm on you.
5. I am blessed that I have not had a quite car ride in years. When Sweet Girl is screaming her head off and won't stop till I get her out of the car, I am blessed. For this means that in our arms she feels safe. She would rather be with mom or dad than away. She knows that close to us is where the love happens. Or when Little Man won't stop narrating the car ride, "Momma, moon! Momma, choo choo tracks! Momma, no song! Momma, No sing! Momma, white car! " and on and on and on, I am blessed. For it means that Little Man is learning. Little Man is developing communication and observations skills. Little Man is watching in amazement the world that goes by. Neither of you are concerned that by expressing yourself you may be putting yourself in harms way.
6. I am blessed that I have friends on facebook to compare my children's accomplishments to. When I read on facebook that one of my friend's kids is mastering a skill that my children have not master yet, I am blessed. For it means that on days that can seem so long and lonely, I have a connection to the outside world. It means that I have friends that encourage me to want what is best for my kids. It means that I have resources to go to and ask, "How did you get your kid to learn that?" I am not alone. I don't have to take my loneliness out on my children. I don't have to raise my kids without any help or encouragement. I am part of a world wide support system.
I could go on and on about how blessed your daddy and I are. Each of you are safe, happy, healthy and developing just the way you should. I never realized how much I took it for granted until one of my friends who is a social worker said, "It is so nice to be around a baby that is cared for. She actually will look me in the eyes. I forgot what that is like." I hope that statement haunts me forever too.
I also hope that we will be a family who will love on kids who are not as safe and cared for as us. I hope that your daddy and I teach you to have big hearts that will be haunted by injustice in the world. Your daddy and I love you so much.
Love,
Your Momma
P.S. I did not stick Holy Butt Bongos in this post because it would have ruined the tone of this post.
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