Had Enough

Tonight, I wanted to scream.  One of those nights, where everything in me was just ticked off, immensely.  Poor Main Man got the hit with the eye of the storm.  It came out of no where.  Like a tornado sneaking up on a midwest prairie town.  Swirled , bounced off of everything in it's path, then made sure there was enough destruction left behind, so Main Man would have to sweep up the pieces.  Somedays he puts up with a lot.  Today, every little thing he did ticked me off, immensely.  Just to show you just how petty I can be, here is my night.

 It started when I was checking facebook.  This was super important.  Had to be done right that instant.  Someone could post and I could not see it.  Main Man and Little Man are in the kitchen.  Main Man is on the phone with his dad and getting dinner ready.  I hear, "Babe, he needs you now!"  I come running to find Little Man laying on his back on the floor.  Looking content.  Main Man says, "He banged his head he is going to start crying."  I my mind I yell, "You could not stop everything you were doing and comfort him.  I was checking facebook, for heaven's sake."  Instead I comfort my son and stew inside.

Then I am getting the cookies I needed to have because it would so help me loose my baby weight.  I hear one call my name to eat it raw.  So I break one off the premade block, and take a bite.  Main Man says, "Hey, can I have some?"  I shove it in my mouth and think, "how dare he ask me for some of my cookie.  Jerk."  I say, "Get your own." around a mouthful of cookie.   

I am over this, Dear mother.

 Then I go to get another raw cookie. Take a bite and Main Man pulls off the rest of the cookie and throws it on the cookie sheet.  He says, "Stop eating raw cookie dough you are going to make yourself sick."  I stew inside, "Jerk, leave me be.  If I want to eat the whole dang package of cookies, I will eat the whole dang package of cookies.  Then I will puke my guts out from Salmonella and you can hold back my hair as I do so."  Instead, I say in the sweetest voice I can muster.  "I like them raw."  Then go to the oven and pull out the cookie sheet and eat two more, to show him.

took a pic just like this when I was prego.  Used the tree to hide my belly.  

 At this point Main Man realizes a storm is brewing.  So he says, "Let's eat.  I think you will feel better once you eat."  Inside I stew.  "I feel fine.  Just don't talk to me and I will be having a great night."  Instead I eat in silence.  Just to show him how fine I really am.  

Then comes bed time and that is when the tornado hit the town.  I had put Little Man to bed two nights in a row (Main Man was feeling under the weather from the colds Little Man and I so kindly shared.  He never gets sick so I had no problem with him sleeping through bedtime.  Clearly, he was sick.)  However, tonight I was over it.  It was his turn.  He needed to put Little Man to bed.  No ifs ands or buts.  Main Man had no problem with this.  He takes Little Man up and then I hear crying and I think we need help.  That was it.  I was done.  I lost it.

It went a little something like this.  Storm up stairs.  Feet hitting the stairs with as much force as I could muster.  Enter the room as mad as a hornet.  See Little Man totally stuck in the adorable overall outfit I put him in today.  And this is what I so lovingly say to my husband to encourage him on his journey of parenthood.  "You don't think Tuesday and Wednesday night I needed help.  When I could not get him to take his meds because he was not having it.  Or when I tried to give him a bottle with his meds in that so he would still get it and he would not take it.  You don't think I wanted help when he stayed up till 10 the other night because someone let him take a nap till 745.  I need a stinkin break.  Just get him out of the outfit yourself."  Main Man, "I can't I tried."  Little Man is still crying and squirming on the floor like a worm cuz his arms are stuck in the outfit.  I help as angry as can be and then storm out with the words, "I need a break."

Wait for the call to nurse Little Man.  Nurse him with as much love as I can muster.  Lay him in the crib and he starts crying.  I need a break so I leave.  Storm out of the room.  Hoping that Main Man will get the hint that tonight is his night.  I am over it.  I hide in the bedroom till I hear Main Man come up then I sneak back down.  Main Man comes down and says, "Are you ok?"  I say, "I am over the crying. Just over it."  At this point Main Man realizes I am done for the night.  So he takes over parenting.  While I paint my nails and pretend no one else is in the room.

New favorite pic of us.  I mean he is actually modeling.  8 months old and modeling.

I love my son to death.  I love my husband more than words can express.  Tonight I just had enough.  I think I need sleep.  Maybe tomorrow I can see a lesson in this.  Right now I am just glad that writing about my anger helped me realize I am being so stinkin stupid.  Off to eat crow and apologize.