My babes






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Being Real

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It may seem like I am very good at being real.  So much of what I think comes out of my mouth.  I'm pretty raw, unfiltered and unedited, for good or for bad.  But the thing is I really, really like control.  I like my weeks planned out, my days planned out, my meals planned out and I don't like sudden changes of plans.  Then God gave me kids.  I also really like for people to see the side of me I want them to see.  Not the mess.  Then God gave me kids. When Laura called this morning to tell me Jordyn had a fever, my first instinct was to cancel.  It is too cold to be outside, we have no where to go.  Game over.  I love having people in my home, but when Laura called my entire house looked like this.   (It was hoe down day for the toys) Little toys were everywhere.  Choking hazards for crawlers, death traps for new walkers, safe for preschoolers but not for younger kids.  Everything in me screamed, "Cancel! ...
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Sweet Girl 11 Months

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Dear Sweet Girl, I don't even have words.  I know!  Your mom who always talks, does not have words.  I really can not believe you are 11 months old.  I feel like crying.  Your first year is almost over and I am not sure if I snuggled enough of you as a baby.  Did I smell enough baby smell off your head.  Did I savor enough baby innocence?  Did I take enough photos?  I have no idea.  I sure hope I did.  Here is the thing about the first year of life, I spend it so sleep deprived it is just survival and love that I aim for.  I hoped I loved more than I think I did. You, Sweet Girl, are growing and changing so rapidly.  Your Daddy said to me, "I think her personality is already shining through.  She is gonna be 30 next year cuz she is growing so fast."  I totally agree.  Since you started walking at 9 months it feels much like you skipped the baby phase and went right to be a kid.  I love it and...
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So much changes and yet nothing changes

Stories are an interesting thing.  I'm beginning to write again.  And it's really hard not to feel guilty about how I dropped the ball on my writing.  I go back and look at how my writing progressed when I wrote on a regular basis and I'm impressed with me.  As I read my words it feels effortless.  Like somehow I just magically created words that were fitting for the time.  How did I do that? How is it that letters become words and words become sentences and sentences become paragraphs and paragraphs become books?             Words can be pretty magical.                They can dance over pages, bringing to life a new world.               They can also drop like a lead weight into a person's belly completely transforming a mood.               Just the right combination of words can bring l...
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