My babes






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Being Real

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It may seem like I am very good at being real.  So much of what I think comes out of my mouth.  I'm pretty raw, unfiltered and unedited, for good or for bad.  But the thing is I really, really like control.  I like my weeks planned out, my days planned out, my meals planned out and I don't like sudden changes of plans.  Then God gave me kids.  I also really like for people to see the side of me I want them to see.  Not the mess.  Then God gave me kids. When Laura called this morning to tell me Jordyn had a fever, my first instinct was to cancel.  It is too cold to be outside, we have no where to go.  Game over.  I love having people in my home, but when Laura called my entire house looked like this.   (It was hoe down day for the toys) Little toys were everywhere.  Choking hazards for crawlers, death traps for new walkers, safe for preschoolers but not for younger kids.  Everything in me screamed, "Cancel! ...
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Sweet Girl 11 Months

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Dear Sweet Girl, I don't even have words.  I know!  Your mom who always talks, does not have words.  I really can not believe you are 11 months old.  I feel like crying.  Your first year is almost over and I am not sure if I snuggled enough of you as a baby.  Did I smell enough baby smell off your head.  Did I savor enough baby innocence?  Did I take enough photos?  I have no idea.  I sure hope I did.  Here is the thing about the first year of life, I spend it so sleep deprived it is just survival and love that I aim for.  I hoped I loved more than I think I did. You, Sweet Girl, are growing and changing so rapidly.  Your Daddy said to me, "I think her personality is already shining through.  She is gonna be 30 next year cuz she is growing so fast."  I totally agree.  Since you started walking at 9 months it feels much like you skipped the baby phase and went right to be a kid.  I love it and...
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Grieving

A week and a half ago, I lost someone dear to my heart.  Before she went home to Jesus I had not seen or spoken to her in 5 years, except through facebook. I have to admit I feel very very silly grieving her loss.  I mean, if she was that important to me wouldn't I have kept in touch.  Made more of an effort to let her know she was loved.  She was only in my life a short time, 2 years in fact.  I was not in her inner circle nor were we great friends but the impact she made on my life was significant. You see she believed in me. I still remember the last conversation I had with her.  I sat in her sunny yellow chairs which were sprinkled with flowers in just the perfect southern tasteful way.  Sun streamed through the open shades.  Her blonde hair was shiny and full in just the perfect southern tasteful way, not like the 1980's or big like Texas southern big.  Her face which was normally happy with me, was a mix of excited for me but also d...
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